Sisters
2 03 2007I wanted to shout out to my sisters who have been reading this: khals, asmaa, aaida, haj, humairah. Already living dreams ;) Do you remember that poem? May Allah 
SWT reward you. I’ve been reading your poetry and checking out your blogs (including safspace) these past couple ’snow days’ and I am very impressed. You are so…rich! And you give us a lot of hope for an amazing future here in shaa Allah .
All of you (that I know of) are people who have worked on the MSA and have some understanding of what leadership is. In my work with the MSA and MAC, and now in our school, I’ve learned a lot about it myself. I’m very interested in hearing from you about what leadership means to you. And isA I’ll share my thoughts along with you. I’m particularly interested in hearing how your ‘gender’ has shaped your role as a leader. Has it? Are there things a woman can do in such a role that a man can’t, or vice versa? Are there particular things that a woman ought to do, or particular qualities that she has to have as a leader that a man doesn’t have to? How do you feel to be a woman in a position of leadership? Please do share your thoughts on these questions or anything related (or unrelated :) ). And may Allah SWT reward you.
Asma I miss you. I’m going to be addicted to your blog because I can hear your voice when I’m reading these posts (scary, isn’t it? ;))
Leadership…is very difficult. In the process of being a leader, I think I’ve realized just how weak I am. Sometimes it’s tempting to fall back and be the follower instead, but I see it as a personal challenge - if I gave up half way through, what would stop me from giving up on everything else in my life?
Another reason why it’s difficult is that you come in with an idea of the way you want things run, but then you find out that there are 10 other people who have different views on the matter. And I didn’t realize, until recently, that I’ve had to give up a lot of my personal opinions and beliefs in order to be an effective leader - and giving them up has never been easy for me.
Gender definitely affects my leadership. Sometimes I’ll lead from the back because people need that support and encouragement that a male leader might not necessarily be able to give - and I’m not used to leading from the back :) I’m sure it affects me in other ways that I’m not even aware of. Being a female limits you in some ways, especially around brothers who find it difficult to accept female leaders. But it opens a whole level of opportunity - you have access to a whole segment of the community that males don’t!
At the end, being in a leadership position tests you in every possible way. The hardest test for me to get through was overcoming my selfish desires and ego. I am still working on it :)
Jazaki Allah
khair Asmaa.
Perhaps true leadership is so little of what we expect of it because leadership is something people need to be raised for, and need to grow into.
Along with those elements we would normally consider a part of true leadership, (e.g. responsibility) I have seen some vital components which I want to highlight:
(By ’strong leader’ I mean someone who succeeds in bringing people from one point to another)
A strong leader knows his/her people very well, and knows how to connect with them. A strong leader puts his/her people before his/her self.
A strong leader has knowledge–of himself, his people, the world around him, and his deen (which encompasses the previous 3 items).
A strong leader is focussed. She is not easily distracted by temptation, criticism or praise.
A strong leader always has a goal in mind.
I want to offer something about female leadership which is up for discussion. I’ve observed that what females–even the strongest personalities among us–currently look for in female leaders, is understanding, compassion, and lightheartedness, as well as every other good quality. A male leader can easily create a following if he has the knowledge, is articulate, and acts justly. Females seem to need something more to create a following. Here’s a recipe for female leadership that comes to mind as I write this: (a) an open heart ‘free’ of suspicion, doubt, envy or any selfish feeling toward other women (b) an understanding of the concerns, vexations, and issues that women face, and a willingness, and, when necessary, a show of defence, for those issues and concerns (c) sincere love for Allah
’s creatures, and the outward expression of that love toward other women (d) in the same vein, expressions of praise and esteem for women, especially in the form of words, including affirmations of their achievements, abilities and potential (e) withholding criticism of any sort except when advice is sought and constructive feedback is necessary (f) humility before other women and a show of selflessness in their presence
(g) gentleness, lightheartedness, and ease when offering guidance or showing others *how they may* do something.
I believe that these qualities should compliment the strength, confidence and knowledge that any strong leader would have. Male leaders should also have these qualities, but they *seem* to be imperative for many females….Is this what you look for?
 More thoughts to come insha Allah
. Please share yours.Â
[…] Â Jazakum Allah
khair for reading and observing I would love to read your thoughts on ’sisters’ and jazaki Allah 
khair Sawitri for sending yours, too. I have just added a reflection of my own to it. […]
Response
(you wanted me to write a response…so there)
I used to think leadership was something great that is above the common-man. In my head, leaders had some sort of special power to make things happen and get people to do things. In my experience, I’ve found that people don’t become leaders through the acquisition of special powers or through some great ceremony. It tends to happen out of necessity. Something needs to be done. Someone has to take the initiative. And whoever is brave enough, or conscientious enough, or agreeable enough ( i.e. unable to say no) becomes the leader. I see that leadership presents challenges to people regardless of whether they’re men or women. It will push you out of your comfort zone when you have to speak in public or voice an unfavourable idea or make a difficult choice or take the heat when things go wrong. Being a woman, in a male-dominated society, there is an added challenge of going against common stereotypes or expectations that women should act in certain ways. Some of these are actually self-imposed. Sitting on the board of all men, I am conscious of the fact that I’m the only woman and the youngest member of the board. I believe that being the youngest actually affects me more than the fact that I’m a woman. I question and re-question myself if I want to criticize something because I’m not sure if it will be disrespectful. Alhamdulillah, I’ve overcome that reluctance to speak up and the brothers have been supportive of my speaking out.
In general though, I think taking responsibility and having initiative and being a leader, if that is the position that Allah
has put you into, is as much a test for a man as it is for a woman. Challenges might be slightly different in each case, but these differences exist between individuals as they do between genders. And Allah 
is the best of judges, who will take these differences into account.
I’m curious to know what women think about working with female leaders.
I don’t see much difference between working with female leaders and male leaders. Have you noticed something unique about working with female leaders, Asma?
I do feel there is a difference in general between the way men and women work. Or maybe it’s just the difference between me and the men I work with –perhaps I shouldn’t generalize it across the board. I find that I focus more on the end that I want to achieve and they’re very particular about the means. They’re all about policy and this and that and I’m just thinking “so and so needs help. Imagine how difficult it would be if we were in that situation. Why don’t we just help him?” It may also be a result of the difference between youthful enthusiasm and the wisdom that comes from experience.
I also wanted to comment that the ‘recipe for female leadership’ that you describe above reminds me of something we learned in the Al Maghrib course - The Shepherd’s Path. Here are my notes:
“There is no prophet except that they are shepherds.†– Hadith
What benefit does a person get from being a shepherd?
1. Mercy and kindness. If you get angry at a herd of sheep, they won’t listen to you. If you want to influence the flock, you have to be merciful to them.
2. How do you take a herd of sheep from point A to point B? A shepherd has to learn how to do this. The sheep may have different characteristics but the shepherd has to take the whole flock to the grazing area for their benefit.
3. The shepherd protects the flock from harm, from wolves. The prophet has to protect the whole ummah.
4. A shepherd is paid for his own labour. When parents give cash gifts to their children, they become spoiled brats and the children don’t know how to survive in the real world.
Jazaki Allah
khair for your comments. The points about the shepherd are quite insightful, mashaa Allah 
.
I wouldn’t say that there should necessarily be a difference between male and female leaders, but that what women seem to need something more from female leaders than they do from male leaders, and so female leaders should cater to their needs. I believe this is because women are generally more sensitive than men (and I mean this in the best way).
With respect to the ends and means of our work, I believe all of us have the end in mind, which is serving humanity in the best way bi ithnillah. Perhaps when we design our policies we put ourselves in a more ‘efficient’ frame of mind, thus forgetting some of the ins and outs of dawah, but that’s where sisters’ sensitivities and intuitions might (and should) contribute significantly to our work. Nonetheless, all of us, brothers and sisters, are taught to be sensitive, caring, loving individuals, and I believe we rely heavily on this factor to make our work as humane as can be. May Allah
SWT help us to follow through and live up to our responsibilities, ameen ya Rubb.
“Can Leaders Step Outside of the Gender Box? An Examination of Leadership and Gender Role Stereotypes”
Andrew Embry, Margaret Y Padgett, Craig B Caldwell. Journal of Leadership & Organizational Studies. Flint: Aug 2008. Vol. 15, Iss. 1; p. 30
This study examined gender stereotypes for leaders using a more indirect method than is typical in stereotype research. Rather than reveal the leader’s gender, this study used vignettes in which the leader’s gender was unknown. Consistent with their hypothesis, the authors found that participants were more likely to infer a male (female) gender identity than a female (male) gender identity when presented with a leader using a masculine (feminine) style. They also hypothesized that a leader using a gender-consistent leadership style would be viewed more positively than a leader using a gender-inconsistent style. Contrary to this hypothesis, results revealed that men using a gender-inconsistent (feminine) style were actually evaluated more positively than men using a gender-consistent style. It is interesting that a perceived female leader who used a gender-inconsistent (masculine) style was evaluated more positively than a perceived male leader who used a masculine style, but only by female participants. Possible explanations for these results are discussed.