Asma Maryam Ali

Truth is, we spend much of our lives dreaming of what could be-what should’ve been and what would’ve been. We watch the stars at night and trail the setting of the sun with our eyes. We mourn the passing of every great moment, and we torture ourselves with regrets from days long gone. We entertain the thoughts of “what if”, sprinkling our minds with these words assuming somehow if we just did something different our lives would’ve been different. 
 
We would be different. 
 
Maybe more confident, or successful, more spirited or even at peace, or a thousand different things. And in time this word becomes our silent mantra: our daily mental chant to ourselves, like a lullaby that lulls us to sleep every night of a different time and place, a better future: and falling through the cracks we hear maybe… we wouldn’t have made as many mistakes or had as many regrets, and now looking back we see where we went wrong and what we did wrong– errors in judgment that cost us so much or setbacks that set us back for so long… 
 
Or tiny little lies that spiralled out of control, mutating into monsters of ferocious power that somehow turned the tables on us. Until looking into the mirror becomes an ordeal, until seeing the person staring back at you becomes a war you fight everyday, subconsciously, unknowingly. And slowly, but surely, we end up hating who we’ve become. The person we no longer recognize that deals with the rest of the world while our real selves are kept hidden and locked away, in a tiny, cramped corner of our souls. 
 
And yeah, we might laugh off our problems as issues we’ve solved and not something that goes far into the tissues of our very beings–instead turning our tears into ammunition. The kind of fight so critical to our sanity we brush off and turn into soulless jokes of a cheap kind. Hoping to be the center of entertainment, and so entertaining others because it keeps us occupied and distracted from that void within that plagues us to no end. 
 
And just for a few moments we can ignore who we’ve become and instead bask in the admiration of others, seeing as they might. Confident, vibrant, full of life. A light that draws others like moths to a flame. Even though that light burns inside.

Edil Ibrahim

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I would blow a breath

Let it fill the sky and earth with

Life that will never fail

And tie this wandering vessel to

one shore of this expanse

That it might be content

Dig up the old and rotten

To unearth the roots

Which hold us down

I’d know where pain is

And how to create my eden

Here on Earth.

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From Stories of Repentance

It is reported that during one of his journeys, Dhul Qarnain passed through a city that was once reuled by seven successive kings. Upon entering some of the inhabitants of the city, Dhul Qarnain asked, “Are any of the descendants of those kings alive today?” They said, “Yes, a single male descendent, yet he steers clear of human beings and keeps company with no one; in fact, he spends much of his time in the graveyard.” Dhul Qarnain said, “Tell me where I can find him.” He then went to meet with the eccentric sounding of kings. When he finally met him, he noticed that he looked weak and had an emaciated body. Though Dhul Qarnain didn’t know it, it man’s body was so thin not from a lack of resources, but from constant worship and a general lack of concern for material pleasures. Dhul Qarnain extended greetings of peace to the man, who then returned those greetings. Dhul Qarnain then asked, “Why do you spend so much time in the graveyard?” The man lowered his head for a moment, and after a brief pause, he raised it and said, “I initially wanted to see if I could distinguish between the bones of kings and the bones of their slaves, but of course I wasn’t able to do so. Their end is the same.”

Dhul Qarnain said, “If you wish to follow me, I will help you to rekindle the honor of your fathers—that is, if you have the ambition that is needed to achieve that end.” The man said, “My ambition for that is little. But if you really want to help me.” Dhul Qarnain said, “What is it that you desire (and I will then try to help you to achieve your goal)? He said, “What I want is life that is not ended by death, youth that is never supplanted by old age, and richness that is never supplanted by poverty.”

“I cannot help you achieve that end,” said Dhul Qarnain. The man said, “Then go on to your business, and leave me to seek the fulfillment of my goal from He Who is able to help me. For indeed, this world is departing, and the Hereafter draws near. The journey is long, yet I have not much provision (i.e. good deeds) for it.”

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