Asma Maryam Ali

Truth is, we spend much of our lives dreaming of what could be-what should’ve been and what would’ve been. We watch the stars at night and trail the setting of the sun with our eyes. We mourn the passing of every great moment, and we torture ourselves with regrets from days long gone. We entertain the thoughts of “what if”, sprinkling our minds with these words assuming somehow if we just did something different our lives would’ve been different. 
 
We would be different. 
 
Maybe more confident, or successful, more spirited or even at peace, or a thousand different things. And in time this word becomes our silent mantra: our daily mental chant to ourselves, like a lullaby that lulls us to sleep every night of a different time and place, a better future: and falling through the cracks we hear maybe… we wouldn’t have made as many mistakes or had as many regrets, and now looking back we see where we went wrong and what we did wrong– errors in judgment that cost us so much or setbacks that set us back for so long… 
 
Or tiny little lies that spiralled out of control, mutating into monsters of ferocious power that somehow turned the tables on us. Until looking into the mirror becomes an ordeal, until seeing the person staring back at you becomes a war you fight everyday, subconsciously, unknowingly. And slowly, but surely, we end up hating who we’ve become. The person we no longer recognize that deals with the rest of the world while our real selves are kept hidden and locked away, in a tiny, cramped corner of our souls. 
 
And yeah, we might laugh off our problems as issues we’ve solved and not something that goes far into the tissues of our very beings–instead turning our tears into ammunition. The kind of fight so critical to our sanity we brush off and turn into soulless jokes of a cheap kind. Hoping to be the center of entertainment, and so entertaining others because it keeps us occupied and distracted from that void within that plagues us to no end. 
 
And just for a few moments we can ignore who we’ve become and instead bask in the admiration of others, seeing as they might. Confident, vibrant, full of life. A light that draws others like moths to a flame. Even though that light burns inside.

Edil Ibrahim

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I would blow a breath

Let it fill the sky and earth with

Life that will never fail

And tie this wandering vessel to

one shore of this expanse

That it might be content

Dig up the old and rotten

To unearth the roots

Which hold us down

I’d know where pain is

And how to create my eden

Here on Earth.

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From Stories of Repentance

It is reported that during one of his journeys, Dhul Qarnain passed through a city that was once reuled by seven successive kings. Upon entering some of the inhabitants of the city, Dhul Qarnain asked, “Are any of the descendants of those kings alive today?” They said, “Yes, a single male descendent, yet he steers clear of human beings and keeps company with no one; in fact, he spends much of his time in the graveyard.” Dhul Qarnain said, “Tell me where I can find him.” He then went to meet with the eccentric sounding of kings. When he finally met him, he noticed that he looked weak and had an emaciated body. Though Dhul Qarnain didn’t know it, it man’s body was so thin not from a lack of resources, but from constant worship and a general lack of concern for material pleasures. Dhul Qarnain extended greetings of peace to the man, who then returned those greetings. Dhul Qarnain then asked, “Why do you spend so much time in the graveyard?” The man lowered his head for a moment, and after a brief pause, he raised it and said, “I initially wanted to see if I could distinguish between the bones of kings and the bones of their slaves, but of course I wasn’t able to do so. Their end is the same.”

Dhul Qarnain said, “If you wish to follow me, I will help you to rekindle the honor of your fathers—that is, if you have the ambition that is needed to achieve that end.” The man said, “My ambition for that is little. But if you really want to help me.” Dhul Qarnain said, “What is it that you desire (and I will then try to help you to achieve your goal)? He said, “What I want is life that is not ended by death, youth that is never supplanted by old age, and richness that is never supplanted by poverty.”

“I cannot help you achieve that end,” said Dhul Qarnain. The man said, “Then go on to your business, and leave me to seek the fulfillment of my goal from He Who is able to help me. For indeed, this world is departing, and the Hereafter draws near. The journey is long, yet I have not much provision (i.e. good deeds) for it.”

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My sister, Khalidah, recently returned from Egypt and brought be “Stories of Repentance,” compiled by Muhammad Abduh Mughaawiri. This is one of the most beautiful gifts I ever received. It is filled with hope in Allah ’s mercy. There are many people who sin and do not believe that they may recover from their sins. Instead of offering them a hand up, the community might condemn them or allow them to isolate themselves. Instead, we need to acknowledge that sin is a part of life and we need to give one another a hand up. I invite you to share these stories with your loved ones, your study groups and in your sermons and lectures.

 “When I Die…

 The following story is mentioned in an authentic Hadith (narration) that is narrated by Abu Hurairah:

 A man who had never performed a good deed throughout his life gave these instructions to his family: When I dies, burn me and scatter half of my remains on land and the other half in the sea. For by Allah , if Allah is able to get me, He will punish me as He punishes no one else from the entire creation!

 When he died, his family followed his instructions to the letter. Allah then ordered the land to gather together his remains that were scattered on it, and the sea to gather together his remains that were scattered on it. Then when the man was brought together again, Allah asked him why he did what he did. He said, “From fear of You, O my Lord! And You know best (as to what was in my heart).” Allah then forgave him.”

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Where is your face when it matters
Your eyes see much more than you know
You stand tall behind thin air and towers
The time comes, you are empty and cold.

You claim to have so much to give of yourself
Of what matters the most you have none
The world rests on assumptions and patterns
You do well with the worst of them.

Where is that passionate warrior
Who loves more than he fears
Her quiet revolution
Will one day change the world.

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A bit of black now colours the ends of my red belt. Every so often I dare to touch it, wondering if the day will come when that dream is fulfilled. Please pray for me!

Choong Moo is the black belt pattern. 

“CHOONG-MOO was the name given to the great Admiral Yi Soon-Sin of the Lee Dynasty. He was reputed to have invented the first armoured battleship (Kobukson) in 1592, which is said to be the precursor of the present day submarine. The reason why this pattern ends with a left hand attack is to symbolize his regrettable death, having no chance to show his unrestrained potentiality checked by the forced reservation of his loyalty to the king.”

Source: www.itf-information.com/patterns10.htm

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I flipped through an Islamic magazine today and came to an article entitled “Managing Stress – An Islamic Perspective.” It recommends several ways in which a person can relieve stress, such as faith (& conviction), prayer, recitation and contemplation over God’s revelation, and more. A few additional recommendations are listed in point form at the end of the article. One of them is “- DO NOT make an abrupt conclusion that Allah hates you”.

I say yes.

Here are (only) some of Allah ’s (God’s) words:

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him) that the Prophet (PBUH), from among the things he reports from his Lord (mighty and sublime be He), is that he said:

A servant [of Allah 's] committed a sin and said: O Allah , forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for them. Then he sinned again and said: O Lord, forgive me my sin. And He (glorified and exalted be He) said: My servant has committed a sin and has known that he has a Lord who forgives sins and punishes for sins. Do what you wish, for I have forgiven you.
(It was related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari).

On the authority of Anas (may Allah be pleased with him), who said: I heard the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) say: Allah the Almighty said:

O son of Adam, so long as you call upon Me and ask of Me, I shall forgive you for what you have done, and I shall not mind. O son of Adam, were your sins to reach the clouds of the sky and were you then to ask forgiveness of Me, I would forgive you. O son of Adam, were you to come to Me with sins nearly as great as the earth and were you then to face Me, ascribing no partner to Me, I would bring you forgiveness nearly as great at it.
(It was related by at-Tirmidhi (also by Ahmad ibn Hanbal). Its chain of authorities is sound. )

On the authority of Abu Hurayrah (may Allah be pleased with him), who said that the Messenger of Allah (PBUH) said:

A man sinned greatly against himself, and when death came to him he charged his sons, saying: When I have died, burn me, then crush me and scatter [my ashes] into the sea, for, by Allah , if my Lord takes possession of me, He will punish me in a manner in which He has punished no one [else]. So they did that to him. Then He said to the earth: Produce what you have taken-and there he was! And He said to him: What induced you to do what you did? He said: Being afraid of You, O my Lord (or he said: Being frightened of You) and because of that He forgave him.
(It was related by Muslim (also by al-Bukhari, an-Nasa’i and Ibn Majah).

The ahadith qudsi are a collection of Allah ’s words related to us by His messenger, Muhammad (may God’s peace and blessings be upon him).

www.usc.edu/dept/MSA/fundamentals/hadithsunnah/hadithqudsi.html

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“Hwarang” is most often translated as “Flower Knights” or “Flower Youths.” Hwa is the Sino-Korean (hanja) character for flower or the act of blooming. Rang means man, sometimes used as a suffix in Silla official titles.

The Hwarang were an elite group of male youth in Silla, an ancient Korean kingdom that lasted until the 10th century. They were educational institutions as well as social clubs where members gathered for all aspects of study, originally for arts and culture steeped in Buddhism and Taoism. These groups developed into a more military organization as the Silla court centralized political power and battled to unite the Three Kingdoms.

According to the Samguk Sagi and Samguk Yusa, two bands of females called Wonhwa, “original flowers” preceded the Hwarang. Women played a much more prominent social role in pre-Confucian Korea, especially in Silla, which had three reigning queens in its history.

Both sources record that during the reign of King Jinheung, groups of beautiful girls were chosen and taught filial and fraternal piety, loyalty, and sincerity (no firm date is given for this, and some scholars express doubt this even occurred during Jinheung‘s reign). However, the leaders of the two bands of Wonhwa, Nammo and Junjeong, grew jealous of one another. When Junjeong murdered her rival the Wonhwa were disbanded.

At some point thereafter, according to the Samguk Yusa, the Silla king, “concerned about the strengthening of the country … again issued a decree and chose boys from good families who were of good morals and renamed them hwarang.” This suggests that the Hwarang were not originally military in character, as the Wonhwa were not soldiers.

Two youths, Gwisan  and Chwihang, approached the Silla monk Won Gwang seeking spiritual guidance and teaching, saying “We are ignorant and without knowledge. Please give us a maxim which will serve to instruct us for the rest of our lives.”

Won Gwang, who had gained fame for his period of study in Sui China, replied by composing the Five Commandments for Secular Life (Sae Sok O-Gye). These have since been attributed as a guiding ethos for the Hwarang:

Loyalty to one’s lord (sagun ichung)
Love and respect your parents and teachers(sachin ihyo)
Trust among friends (gyo-u isin)
Never retreat in battle (imjeon mutwae)
Never take a life without a just cause (salsaeng yutaek)

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I took a refreshing autumn walk today around the pond behind our house.

The path was laden with clover and I recalled an verse of the Qur’an that I had read only an hour before: “Who has made for you the earth, like a bed, and has made for you roads therein.”

The clover was so soft beneath me that I took light steps; nonetheless I saw tiny flies and little bugs jump up as my feet trampled their world. How amazing it is that I have the right to do this to them.

I saw butterflies jump from leaf to leaf in patterns that made no sense to me. I admired them for their flight and their journey and I envied the ease with which they flew.  

The water was still and peaceful and when the wind blew, there were tiny ripples. A crane stood in the shallow part looking out with such dignity and grace. Where did it come from and why was it there?

The stunning red, yellow and orange leaves on the trees were whispering that change is a part of life. The landscape remains and its features are transformed.

I walked slowly at times, taking the time to connect with the ground I walked on. Because I thought, there’s nothing on this earth that’s guaranteed, except that we have a little ground beneath our feet to stand on at this moment. and one day, that ground itself will crumble beneath us.

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In the name of God, the Compassionate and Merciful.
Ramadan mubarak!

I often get annoyed by love songs, but I haven’t heard one as silly as “Drive My Soul” in a long time. I love the singer’s voice and I love the melody, but no matter how hard I try to appreciate it, the words ruin the song for me every time.

So many love songs present a man or woman (usually a woman) whose meaning and existence depend on and/or are almost entirely defined by a lover. In this song, a woman gets her sense of meaning, direction, guidance, her bearings, her discipline, her vision from her lover. The very thought of her is so empty that its frightening. Who is she if she doesn’t drive her own soul? What is there to love within her if all of this is missing?

Who or what really drives our souls? What road are we on?

“Seems somebody put out the moon
Now the road is a minefield
I can’t follow the way she moves
I can’t see past the shadows
You make the darkness disappear
I feel found when you stay near
I know where I am when you are here
My way becomes so clear

When you are gone
Will I lose control?
You are the only road I know
You show me where to go
Who will drive my soul?

Seems somebody burned out the signs
I can’t expect the hard curves
There is no borders
There are no lines
How can I know where to turn?
You make the street lights reappear
I feel bright when you stand near
I know what I am when you are here
My place becomes so clear…”

I prefer this piece of poetry:

I must conquer my loneliness alone.
I must be happy with myself,
or I have nothing to offer.

Two halves have little choice but to join;
and yes, they do make a whole.

But two wholes when they coincide. . .
That is beauty. That is love.

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