Asma Maryam Ali

‘if your heart is not deceived by the mirage, be not proud of the sharpness of your understanding; for your freedom from this optical illusion is due to your imperfect thirst.’ – ‘urfi

it’s a blessing, no less, to be able to see clearly. and when we can’t, it’s because we’ve been tried with thirst for something (which may itself become a desire to see other than the truth).

we’re thirsty. what’s at the root of the thirst?

oscar wilde said, ‘we are all in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.’ where are the stars, and which do we look to? these are questions each person must answer for herself.

what do we do when we can’t see? who will take our hand and help us through?

And a youth said, “Speak to us of Friendship.”

Your friend is your needs answered.

He is your field which you sow with love and reap with thanksgiving.

And he is your board and your fireside.

For you come to him with your hunger, and you seek him for peace.

When your friend speaks his mind you fear not the “nay” in your own
mind, nor do you withhold the “ay.”

And when he is silent your heart ceases not to listen to his heart;

For without words, in friendship, all thoughts, all desires, all
expectations are born and shared, with joy that is unacclaimed.

When you part from your friend, you grieve not;

For that which you love most in him may be clearer in his absence, as
the mountain to the climber is clearer from the plain.

And let there be no purpose in friendship save the deepening of the spirit.

For love that seeks aught but the disclosure of its own mystery is not
love but a net cast forth: and only the unprofitable is caught.

And let your best be for your friend.

If he must know the ebb of your tide, let him know its flood also.

For what is your friend that you should seek him with hours to kill?

Seek him always with hours to live.

For it is his to fill your need, but not your emptiness.

And in the sweetness of friendship let there be laughter, and sharing
of pleasures.

For in the dew of little things the heart finds its morning and is refreshed.

I was reading a bit about Khadijah bint al Khuwailid, and I am amazed by her–may God be pleased with her. She defies so many preconceived notions we have about womanhood, femininity and feminism, and she transcends my understanding of islam and iman (faith).

She was strong and independent. She persisted in business after having been widowed. She employed people to work for her and treated them justly. God honoured her when she employed Muhammad, the man who was to become the last messenger of God, may God’s peace and blessings be on them.

She recognized the beauty in that man, may God’s peace and blessings be on them. She heard good things about Muhammad and despite being fifteen years his senior, believed that he would be a good husband to her. She inquired about him through their mutual acquaintances and sought his hand in marriage; he happily agreed. She was his first wife and he did not remarry until after her death, may God’s peace and blessings be on them. After her death he is said to have spoken of her as though she was the only woman in the world. He spoke about her and thought about her; he honored and loved those whom she loved; he would not have her legacy forsaken:

‘She believed in me when no one else did. She embraced Islam when people disbelieved me. And she helped and comforted me in her person and wealth when there was no one else to lend a helping hand. I had children from her only.’

She knew the importance of family. He moved to her home where they built a life together; she bore his six children over the years, may God’s peace and blessings be on them. She was their caregiver, their comfort and their companion for twenty-five years, until she died in what was thereafter named ‘the year of sorrow’. May God be pleased with her.

She was a pillar of strength for those around her. She believed in Muhammad, without doubt, and resorted to her cousin to verify and reassure Muhammad of his messengerhood, may God’s peace and blessings be on them. She supported her husband, their large household and the believers through harsh persecution and poverty while she was in her fifties and sixties.

She touches me because of the depth of her humanity amidst her trials, her status, her wealth, and her age.

She was a queen amongst men and women.

The Apple Guy who sold me my MacBook also had a lot of experience with theatre, environmentalism and education, so we talked about a lot. And I asked him, how would I get started if I wanted to create a theatrical production with young people. He said, you can’t make mistakes. I began to worry and asked, how can I avoid making mistakes – what advice do you have?! And he said calmly, you can’t make mistakes. And then he elaborated, the people you’re working with have to know that there are no such things as mistakes. – An aha! moment. Basically, if they ever thought they’d make mistakes, they’d begin to question themselves, their talents and abilities, and they wouldn’t grow and flourish. Picture it – guiding someone through the acting process – you want them to *grow* forward, and never look back. — > Acting is a creative process of change and renewal. The actor is a plant who grows when he is able to use all that he has within to fulfill a role best suited for him. The actor doesn’t become real by questioning himself, but by building confidence that the phenomenon he is becoming is making its mark in a place, and the world applauds it, the way the plant blossoms and provides fruit as a fulfillment of the vision contained in the seed it sprung from.

Real life is no different. We need the exact same to grow and flourish as people. I need a space to be myself where I am accepted, where my talents are valued and cherished, where I’m not like every other person. Sometimes I grow in weird and shifty trajectories. I do the unexpected and I flower where no one knew I could. (Is anyone else picturing Johnny Depp here ? :–D) Sometimes I wilt and parts of me are diseased. –And then slowly slowly I regain my strength and I grow back. My oddities or unhealthy choices are progressions. I grow away from the light, I gain a sense of direction, I grow toward the light. Mostly I blossom and bring life to the world.

Unfortunately we’ve come away from this reality…it seems to me…we analyze ourselves and others for the wilt, for the disease, for moving into spaces no one expected, and we forget that we are truly the seedling, the plant itself. Mistakes become us, and we cease to grow into our full potential. Not only that, our entire civilization is stunted because we are constantly looking together to arrive at an ideal state, heaven on earth, whereas no great civilization (including Madina or Andalus) ever consisted of heavenly perfection. It was always regeneration that produced greatness.

As children of Adam, may peace be upon him, we often look at heaven as the natural state for humankind. In pursuit of heaven, we’ve come to believe that the objective of life on earth is perfection. But Adam and Eve were moved from heaven to earth knowing that earth was not intended for perfection. It was intended for regeneration. Were things to be otherwise, we’d be replaced. (as God reminds us when He says that were we to be people who didn’t disobey Him, he would replace us with those who did and then turned back to Him) Do we see God replacing people in swift, strong sweeps, or what? My thought is that we’re naturally, progressively ‘replaced’ when we stop producing and contributing with what gifts we have, and the only way to avoid that is to keep growing and not look back.

was what the young Indian woman said to Elizabeth Gilbert in the movie “Eat Pray Love” as they scrubbed the floor of the ashram together and talked relationships. i think the line pretty much sums up the movie. if its not boys, its god…or food.

in the movie liz travels from italy to india to bali in search of herself. in italy she renouces sex and develops a love for eating; in india she renounces comfort and develops a love for meditation and in Bali she develops a love for love. food, god and boys are interchangeable. her passion drives her pursuit and thus defines, to some extent, everything she finds, including god. when she ‘finds god’ she actually says that she has found god within herself. what about without?

‘the universe is within you’ writes elizabeth glibert in the book, but if the universe is within us, how can we know when we’ve got it wrong? outside of our passions and interests, there must be some external reality, composed of many independent truths, defined by One Truth. and there must be a way of accessing that. were we to rely on our own notions, we’d constantly be replacing passion with passion. and for those seeking god, the worst pitfall would be to confuse that quest with lust for our own sense of self, or purpose. a noble pursuit indeed, but not what would help us to find god. we, too, would find god in ourselves, (…and that god might be far less merciful than The Merciful).

when i was about 15 my teacher asked me, where is God? and i said, in my heart. that was nice, but what about when God is no longer in my heart for some reason? when my passion for knowing God and being connected to Him isn’t there. i would need to rely on my knowledge of Him and my understanding of the universe He has created.

i believe that a passion for knowing God and being connected to Him is a great thing. i worry that it becomes a culture, so materialized in things like meditations and ‘pursuits’ that the choice to meditate and/or pursue become in my mind the determining factors in my ability to know God, to the point where they define God. then, i look at the one who supplicates more or the one who prays more as the one who is closer to God. and i begin to think that if i don’t feel a ‘connection’ i am lost and my prayers aren’t being answered. but in reality, God’s choice to connect or respond and anything else are independent of me.

my conclusion: eat, pray, love, and know God

When I attended the First International Roundtable Supporting Ancient Indigenous Knowledge, Sabina sat me in the part of the Roundtable with the symbol of the beaver. Later, she explained that Beaver teaches us wisdom. I met Beaver for the first time on my walk today! She walked right across my path and I captured these shots as she dove into the pond.

“Wisdom is to know that each of us has a gift, a special gift, a unique gift. That gift is to be used to serve life, to serve humanity.

One of the gifts the Beaver has is 2 sharp teeth that he uses to create and build the dams and change the landscape. If that Beaver chose not to use his gift and to lay on the shore while the other beavers were working, his teeth would grow so long that he would not be able to use them and he would die, physically die. If we do not use our gift we will also die or we will become sick, mentally, emotionally or physically.” (Elder Dave Courchene Jr.)

“The building of a community is entirely dependent on gifts given to each member by the creator and how these gifts are used. The Beaver’s example of using his sharp teeth for cutting trees and branches to build his dams and lodges expresses this teaching. If he did not use his teeth, the teeth would continue to grow until they became useless, ultimately making it impossible for him to sustain himself. The same can be said for human beings. One’s spirit will grow weak if it is not fulfilling its use. When used properly however, these gifts contribute to the development of a peaceful and healthy community.” (From: nappaw.tribe.net/thread/c80fddfb-9bc7-42ac-b0d2-a48a5d445f80)

Before dipping into the pond

In the pond

What does it mean to have vision?

Here’s what I think…

Know what it is:

Imam Hasan al-Banna said, “He is not blind who has lost his eyes. The blind are those who have lost their vision.”

In other words, vision is the ability to see past one’s present circumstances, even when everything seems bleak or dark.

Oscar Wilde said, “A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight…”

Sometimes it is only in the darkness that everything becomes clear.

Know what inspires it:

Courage

In order to have vision, we have to be open to seeing new possibilities, greater possibilities. Emerson said, “People only see what they are prepared to see.”

Confidence

I believe it comes from a confidence in what one is doing, a conviction that it is right and good (whether or not it is actually right and good). That confidence is what carries us through. If the world tells you that what you are doing is wrong, faulty, or bound to fail, and the flame of your vision remains alight within, you have what it takes to achieve your vision.

Know where it will lead:

I believe that a part of visioning is also seeing when something will not work. That seeing is also empowering in that we take a new course towards our objectives, or we change our goals completely.

The second part of Wilde’s quote is “and his punishment [the dreamer’s] is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world.”

Having vision doesn’t mean pursuing a path endlessly. It means seeing where a path ends, and considering that a source of enlightenment.

Moreover, it means knowing that choosing one path is choosing not to take many other paths, and taking responsibility for that.

Vision is responsibility. People follow those with vision and those with vision have to be aware of the direction in which they are taking their communities.

Know where it comes from:

Human beings may have visions, but those visions need to be true and right. It is up to us to check our visions according to what we know is true and right.

thought to reflect on:

when u make duaa and u feel it was special or feel it was accepted, where is that duaa coming from..is it from your mind, as if you are stretching something, bending it, or pulling back a stone on a slingshot, so hard it exhausts you…or is it from your heart, a deep, soulful, spirited place…

or is it …a message you receive and recite out to the One who sent it…like a wind you catch hold of and speak it out into words

end thought